Signs You’re Still Holding onto Past Trauma (and How to Release It)

Even been told to 'work on your mindset'?

This is the most frustrating advice I've been given from a coach..

Because trauma isn’t just a memory — it’s an imprint left in the body, mind, and nervous system. Until that imprint feels safe to soften, your body keeps doing what it’s designed to do: protect you.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns that don’t make sense, or like part of you is still living in the past, you may unknowingly be carrying unresolved trauma — even if it’s been years since the event.

🌸 5 Signs You’re Still Holding Onto Past Trauma

1. You Overthink Everything

You replay conversations in your head, worrying if you said the wrong thing or upset someone. You read between the lines of every text and agonise over conversations worrying you might have said the wrong thing.

This isn’t over-sensitivity — it’s hypervigilance. When your body hasn’t felt safe, it stays on high alert, scanning for signs of rejection or danger.

💗 Healing begins when you learn to reassure your nervous system that the threat has passed — and you are safe now.

2. Receiving Love or Compliments Feels Uncomfortable

When someone is kind or loving, you deflect — “oh, it’s nothing,” or change the subject.
Your nervous system may have learned love wasn’t always safe, so you don't allow yourself to receive

💗 Next time someone pays you a compliment, no matter how small, let yourself feel what it’s like to be seen and just allow yourself to say thank you and receive

3. You Struggle to Set Boundaries or Say No

You agree to things you don’t want to do. You apologise for having needs. Somewhere along the line, your nervous system linked safety with pleasing others — because it once protected you from punishment, abandonment, or conflict.

💗 Begin by saying no to small things, pausing before you answer, or just notice when you feel the urge to say yes when you mean no

4. You Feel “Stuck” in the Same Patterns

Ever notice how the same kind of person keeps showing up in your life — just in a different disguise?
That’s not coincidence. It’s your body, not your mind, running the show — chasing what once felt like “home,” even if that home was chaotic.

💗 Healing begins when you bring compassion to the part of you that learned love had to hurt.
When you meet that part with safety, you stop repeating the story — and start writing a new one

5. Your Body Holds the Story

That tight chest before speaking up. The lump in your throat when tears need to fall. The knot in your stomach when you disappoint someone. These are messages from your body that it remembers even if your mind forgot.

💗 Healing begins with learning to meet these parts of you with compassion.
Gentle breathwork, mindful movement, and trauma-informed support can guide you back home to safety within.

🌿 How to Begin Releasing the Past (Gently)

Healing doesn’t mean reliving what happened — it means teaching your body and mind that the danger is over.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

1. Practice rhythmic breathing. Long, slow exhales regulate your nervous system

2. Ground through your senses. Do things that bring you joy. Get out into nature

3. Connect with your body daily. Somatic movement and gentle exercise can help release stored tension and emotions gently, even if you don't know you're holding it

4. Journal. Write out on paper how you feel, even if you don't feel able to speak it

5. Seek trauma-informed support. As a trauma informed coach, I can help support you. Contact me on [email protected]